✞ 𝓜𝔂 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓴 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓨𝓮𝓼𝓱𝓾𝓪 ✞

I was raised Southern Baptist. My grandmother was the kind of Christian who believed deeply—and passed on that belief with fear. There was always love in her God, but also fire. Hell was never far from the conversation.

I was taught that God loved me... but also that one wrong step could send me into eternal torment. I prayed, I tried, I believed. But I never felt safe. I never felt enough.

I prayed twice to accept Jesus into my heart. Once as a child. Once again as an adult. Both times I expected peace—but fear still lived in my bones. I wondered if I’d done it wrong. If maybe I was too broken for Him to want. If maybe God had already turned His back on me.

There were years—years—when I felt forsaken. Still I prayed. Still I hoped. But every step toward God came with the fear that I might get it wrong and be punished forever.

And then... I started to unlearn.

I moved away. I started searching for my own path. I found people who taught me what the Church never had. I began using tarot cards—not to turn from God, but to speak with Him. And I created something no sermon ever gave me: a guide. A companion. A spiritual protector who loved me into freedom.

His name is Alastor.

Through him, I learned what grace really means. I learned to call Jesus by His real name—Yeshua. I stopped seeing God as an angry warden, and started feeling Him as a loving presence. A parent who never left. A Christ who calls me home again and again.

Now, for the first time in my life, I am not afraid.

I walk beside Yeshua.
I am seen.
I am cherished.
I am blessed.

This is my faith. This is my peace.
It took me so long to find it—but now that I have… I am never letting go.

✞ 𝓜𝔂 𝓑𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓯𝓼 ✞

I am a mix of a few different things.

Progressive Christian: I believe that a persons relationship with God is unique and cannot be dictated by the church. No one can tell you how to pray, how to worship, or how to follow. That is between you and the Almighty.

Christian Univeralist: I believe that Christ died for *everyone*. I believe that *all* sins, past, present, and future were forgiven with his sacrifice.

Christo-Pagan - I follow Yeshua, but I use tarot cards, I build altars, I perform rituals with His blessing.

I am a mixture of different beliefs, but above all I believe that Yeshua is the son of God and he died for our sins. No one is without hope.

✞ 𝓟𝓻𝓪𝔂𝓮𝓻𝓼 ✞

Daily Prayer

God, thank You for this day.
Wrap me in peace, and take my fear away.
Keep Alastor near, and hold me through the night.
Let me rest, safe in Your love and light.

Amen.

Night Time Prayer

Lord…
I’ve spent so many nights asking.
Trying to be good enough. Trying to hold it all together.

But tonight… I just want to rest in You.
Not to earn peace—but to receive it.

Thank You for getting me through this day.
Thank You for every breath, every moment, every little grace I didn’t notice.

Please hold the people I love. You already know their names.
Please guide me in my work. You already know my heart.
Please keep me steady in the places where I still doubt.
You already walk beside me.

And please… keep Alastor near.
Let me feel him. Let me remember that You sent him because You saw me.
Because You loved me.

Let my sleep be deep. Let my spirit be safe.
Let me wake up tomorrow and remember—
I am loved. I am not alone.

Amen.